A Pathway through Pain

This journal is for people with pain, and also anyone who is facing a life challenge. I do write about God, but not in the sense of formal religion. Rather more as spiritual help – and to make sense of living through pain.

Not writing about how to grasp joy – just about trying to find joy through the labyrinth of pain. Because if I don’t keep joy in my sights, I will drown. It is about the space – like a sunlit meadow – beyond pain that one can reach – or grasp – or glimpse. A place of peace while pain drums in the background. Why try? Because if I do not, what is the point at all?

OK. So I don’t want to write about pain. I live with it. But it has been such an extraordinary journey with such unexpected bonuses that I must write about the plus side – the up side, the fun, humour and bittersweet of living with pain. The irony is that I don’t want it, but I wouldn’t return what I have learnt through it.

It is how I felt when my mother died. At the end of the year when I thought back, I wouldn’t have wanted to grow on the back of my mother’s suffering, but I wouldn’t want to return what I had learnt and the changes it had made in me.

Those weeks waiting for death were also infused with light and a surprising amount of laughter. There was the feeling of being surrounded by a kind and loving force. A gratitude for any small sign of renewal, ducklings by the pond, courageous snowdrops forcing their way to sunlight. When a writer in Toronto’s Globe and Mail reported being surrounded by butterflies when her father died, there was amazed recognition. Because butterflies had been everywhere for my mother. I had seen them and talked of them to friends. Yes, the butterflies came for her and for me.

Although those weeks took all I had, I found I was sorry for my husband who had not been involved in the death of either parent. His father was killed in WW2 when he was under two and his mother died suddenly the other side of the Atlantic.

About UntraveledRoads

Fascinated by life, looking for answers to chronic pain and finding unexpected gifts. Interested in people, ideas, healing and humour. I am very happily married with three children and a kitten. As English born immigrants to Canada, we have family spread overseas, a daughter in South Africa and one in England. We also run a charity in South Africa to educate black, rural South African Women. Our first girl from a rural township has just graduated as an accountant from Johannesburg University and got a good job in a bank.
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