Thursday, 23 December 2011
A lot of pain. Can’t sit anywhere for long. Makes it difficult to join in family activities. We were watching Ballet Shoes – the original version that they watched with us as children. Wonderfully old-fashioned and Posy reminded me so much of our elder granddaughter. But after 30 minutes, I had to go upstairs and lie down as my back hurt so much.
Asked myself, “What is the lesson? What am I to take from this?” The answer came back, “Stop!” But stop what? All that came through was stop doing, it is enough to BE. Much reflection and came to the conclusion that I must learn not to rest my value on activity (deeds) but on presence (how I am).
Started with stockings and Grandad having put out hopeful garbage bags, weeping stage tears of disappointment. Watched our daughters getting Christmas dinner for twelve seamlessly, like a ballet, always anticipating each other’s moves.
Took our eldest granddaughter upstairs to call a friend back home who is alone this Christmas. And she sang her heart out: “Christmas is for you! Christmas is for me!” Very seriously, she listened to him, nodding earnestly before breaking into a joyous, “And a very, very Merry Christmas to you!”