Thursday, 15 March 2011
Back very painful, ironically, worse than the pain it is meant to prevent. Felt my chest tight and breathing slow, and felt overwhelmed and unreal. Called the Clinic who say no more injections, but to come for a consultation on where to go next on 21 March.
“Is there anywhere to go?” I asked.
“Oh, lots of places. We are at the beginning?” she responded cheerily.
OMG – weeks of this – but it’s my only chance at pain control, so I must take it.
Was meant to have a filling at the dentist, but felt almost afraid at having more local anesthetic. It was to late to cancel, so went in and asked what to do. They looked at me and said, very kindly that I should come back another day. Great relief!
Came home and phoned my endocrinologist for my thyroid biopsy results. Answering machine, so what’s new: she is on holiday till 20 March. Well, at least then the biopsy will be in – when they have caught up and read it.
Saturday, 17th March 2012
Pain still strong from the anesthetic injections, ironic when felt I good on Monday and Tuesday before the latest round on Wednesday. Went to my chiropractor yesterday, who gave me Low Level Laser Therapy – one session can’t fix it, but should help the inflammation. He said the whole lower back had flared and was locked with little movement. He wound me up like a pretzel and crunched me, with a huge cracking pound each side – rather like trees cracking in winter when the sap freezes.
Came home feeling limp and as if I had been beaten. Took painkillers and used my zero-gravity chair which got me through the evening as we had a friend over for supper. A most rewarding and stimulating evening.
But today, very bad. Eyes felt swollen with pain; it hurt to move, sit or stand. After lunch took Tramadol which made me very woozy for two hours, so lay down till felt human again. Pain relief only set in after the two hours, so know I must allow two hours of lost time if I use it.
While woozy, lay in zero-gravity chair (more info) which took the weight off my spine. As always with severe pain, couldn’t think coherently. Impossible to read – also weight of book hurts my back. But can play patience, aptly named, on my iTouch (thank you yet again, Steve Jobs).
Cards are always soothing, perhaps it is making order, when my neurons are crazy and confused. Anyway, it occupies the analytical left side of my brain and prevents me from thinking – always helpful. And, engaging the left brain is the best way to turn off the emotional, depressive right brain. I remember teaching my students in stress seminars:
If you feel anxious or emotional, do math – engage the left brain and turn off the right
If you feel time stressed, sing – engage the right brain and turn off the critical, time-conscious left
It is difficult to feel optimistic when pain-puddled, but must hang on to the knowledge there are so many sunlit patches, even if at the moment it feels as if I am in a very shadowed forest. Must try and see the wood, not the trees