Imperfect Hate

Just reading Elizabeth Buchan’s Perfect Love – in the bath, just before Thea fell in! She observed that “our characters are shaped as much by those we hate as those we profess to love.” Interesting – perhaps hatred warps us more than love sculpts.

And, thinking more, are there two kinds of hatred: offensive, where hate fuels smoldering cruelty, and defensive, where one is the shrinking recipient. Certainly, being on the receiving end has made me understand the power of witch doctors. The evil eye is truly named as being icily watched distorts, diminishes as surely as if the person loathing were sticking pins into a wax image.

Yes, it shapes us. Do we break? Do we descend to their level? Or, if we try to bridge the enmity, in desperate determination not to become like them, does this make us stronger or merely self-righteous? But changed we are.

About UntraveledRoads

Fascinated by life, looking for answers to chronic pain and finding unexpected gifts. Interested in people, ideas, healing and humour. I am very happily married with three children and a kitten. As English born immigrants to Canada, we have family spread overseas, a daughter in South Africa and one in England. We also run a charity in South Africa to educate black, rural South African Women. Our first girl from a rural township has just graduated as an accountant from Johannesburg University and got a good job in a bank.
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