Sink or Swim?

When I wrote my blog entry Problematical Peace a few days ago, I was content. The Buddhist belief in acceptance, in knowing that I can't control the way the dice fall in life was finally taking root. It felt good letting go of my need to control the world around me. I reveled in the peace.

Then I noticed a tightening in my solar plexus, that fluttered on and off. A thought would cast a shadow, an involuntary withdrawal. It was worst when trying to rest or meditate. The solar plexus is the personal power centre. So what had changed?

Had letting go the need to control life gone too far? Had I mistakenly also handed over my will? Is my placidity just limpness? Yet my belief in personal choice has always been a cornerstone in my life. There is always a choice buried in every situation – somewhere. If I don't believe in the power of choice, what is left? Where is my free will?

So how do I find a healthy balance between acceptance, not kicking against the pricks, and choice, purpose and growth? And is my life of any value if I relinquish sovereignty? I must steer by a star, not drift on the waves. I can't control the weather, but I can take the rudder on my ship. It is pointless to try a King Canute on the waves, but it is possible to swim through them, rather than be tossed like flotsam on the beach.



About UntraveledRoads

Fascinated by life, looking for answers to chronic pain and finding unexpected gifts. Interested in people, ideas, healing and humour. I am very happily married with three children and a kitten. As English born immigrants to Canada, we have family spread overseas, a daughter in South Africa and one in England. We also run a charity in South Africa to educate black, rural South African Women. Our first girl from a rural township has just graduated as an accountant from Johannesburg University and got a good job in a bank.
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4 Responses to Sink or Swim?

  1. 67paintings says:

    A strong post and its subject of acceptance is close to my heart, thank you.

    • It’s hard, isn’t it, but somehow a feeling of peace. I suppose we must define our lives differently so that achieving acceptance is rated as strongly as curing ourselves. Certainly, it’s been a steep journey, but I have learned a lot en route and am grateful to life for that.

      • 67paintings says:

        Do you feel that having gratitude to everything we are learning on the journey keeps us going? Maybe more than some “destination”?

      • Yes, I am sure that one’s attitude to what’s happening is more important than what we are going through. I am very grateful to the pain for the way it has led me to grow. I am different because of it and I prefer where I am now inside me to where I was before the pain. However, I don’t want to find the pain is now part of my identity and I can’t move through it and beyond. Jane

I really value your comments and particularly where something resonates with your experience.

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