I am living as never before. Courage as never before. God carry my tears.
I am living on a different level and God is there like a rod and a cradle. A calm of the ages is with me. A well of courage – everyman's courage. They walk beside me, those who have shown courage. They are with me. I feel them in my soul.
I am letting life happen, reading it – and it rolls out towards me like a dance
Bill pulls his shoulders back,”We'll get through it! I won't let it beat me!” I gather there will be a regimen of drugs, but no one has explained. And all the time I think of his poor heart, his big heart, because it is enlarged, hence heart failure. How many times has he hugged me, and I have felt the steady, reassuring beat. Always compassion, always kindness – and I have thought, “You have a big heart, such a big heart.”
How ironically right I am. I don't want to fight it, but to cradle it, to love it. I want gentleness, kindness and humanity. Not sterile walls, harsh lights, and voices of doom.