If I were whole …. Almost a talisman sentence. Since my last post, I have found myself turning to it more and more. You see, because I am supposing, not asserting, I don’t have to convince myself. No need for a show down with Monkey Mind.
Instead, it becomes clear instantly how I would be if not hurt or defensive. And then, why not? Why not act as if I were whole?
Il I were whole, I wouldn’t need to be “right.” I could just look at the facts and if I am wrong, it’s no skin off my nose.
I wouldn’t be irritated at being kept waiting. Usually, it really doesn’t matter – except to my self-importance. Now I play another round of 2048 – I am getting quite good at it.
I don’t need to feel glum because it is a rainy day, because I wouldn’t need to depend on outside conditions to make me happy. I still don’t like rain and am not really cheered to be told the plants need it, but my day doesn’t have to depend on sunshine.
I don’t need to feel impatient in a line up. It doesn’t save me any time – just irritates my ego.
I don’t have to find it difficult to apologize. It actually gives me a nice, clean feeling and saves the exhaustion of self-justification.
And on a bad hair day, who cares? Only me – and if I were whole, it wouldn’t matter.
Such a huge amount of energy saved