If ….

If I were whole …. Almost a talisman sentence. Since my last post, I have found myself turning to it more and more. You see, because I am supposing, not asserting, I don’t have to convince myself. No need for a show down with Monkey Mind.

Instead, it becomes clear instantly how I would be if not hurt or defensive. And then, why not? Why not act as if I were whole?

Il I were whole, I wouldn’t need to be “right.” I could just look at the facts and if I am wrong, it’s no skin off my nose.

I wouldn’t be irritated at being kept waiting. Usually, it really doesn’t matter – except to my self-importance. Now I play another round of 2048 – I am getting quite good at it.

I don’t need to feel glum because it is a rainy day, because I wouldn’t need to depend on outside conditions to make me happy. I still don’t like rain and am not really cheered to be told the plants need it, but my day doesn’t have to depend on sunshine.

I don’t need to feel impatient in a line up. It doesn’t save me any time – just irritates my ego.

I don’t have to find it difficult to apologize. It actually gives me a nice, clean feeling and saves the exhaustion of self-justification.

And on a bad hair day, who cares? Only me – and if I were whole, it wouldn’t matter.

Such a huge amount of energy saved





 

About UntraveledRoads

Fascinated by life, looking for answers to chronic pain and finding unexpected gifts. Interested in people, ideas, healing and humour. I am very happily married with three children and a kitten. As English born immigrants to Canada, we have family spread overseas, a daughter in South Africa and one in England. We also run a charity in South Africa to educate black, rural South African Women. Our first girl from a rural township has just graduated as an accountant from Johannesburg University and got a good job in a bank.
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